Connection

You crave connection, yet you feel overwhelmed with too much face to face human stuff.
You prefer your own company and sometimes wonder why the fuck you even do the social thing.
You constantly tread a fine line between being with people and trying to avoid feeling lonely; never feeling as though you get the balance quite right.
You crave to be seen, heard and respected, but there’s a part of you that doesn’t feel worthy of those things.
You constantly waver between feeling pissed off and invisible and cringing at being noticed or celebrated.
You crave authenticity, real talk and deep + meaningful, but have spent most of your life trying so hard to fit in and be liked, that you’ve been inauthentic and superficial (as “deep” as a puddle). Never, ever letting yourself be truely seen out of a sense of shame.
And even though you have real and authentic and deep to explore, your energy is directed towards the fucking puddle.
You beat yourself up, yet make no changes.
You vow to change, but you get distracted by the fucking puddle.
But things have shifted.
You have shifted.
You finally start to feel worthy of more.
The fog is clearing and you start to see what’s been there all along:
YOU.
You start to feel happy with being lonely sometimes because you’re connected to yourself.
You embrace the superficial chit chat, because you are authentic with yourself. (This sounds contradictory as fuck, but allow yourself to be authentic and inauthentic and feel the weight lift)
You are ok with being invisible because you see yourself.
You are a work of art.
A human mess and a divine master piece.
A perfect master-mess.

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