Could this be the Autumn that changes everything?
Crimson berries and withering leaves,Yellowing, softening, getting ready to flow,They fall from the sky upon winds from the north,Making way for the new life to sow.
You could feel them start to detach,
As they began to wither and withdraw.
Your dreams, your wishes, your job, your friends – all the parts of your life that make you who you are.
People see them as part of the complete picture – the whole of you.
But things didn’t feel right, it was uncomfortable as they loosened their grip,
One by one they start to fall.
You stood tall, acting as though it’s all ok, swaying in the wind,
But desperately clutching to the parts of you that have definded you for so long.
One by one, they kept falling,
Falling to the ground,
Yellowing, softening, withering.
They kept falling away and falling away – anxiety crept in – what if nothing new ever comes? What if this is it?
“STOP!” You cry. “Who am I without these parts of me?”
Afraid of being exposed, you hide and hope no one has noticed these huge gaping holes in your existence.
But they have.
The wind gets colder and the air grows crisp.
At your feet lay the parts of you that were your entire identity for this season of your life.
You no longer look like you.
You feel bare and exposed,
Lifeless and baron.
And you stand here, for what seems like eternity,
Unsure of what lies ahead.
But now everything has fallen away, and you can see down to your bare branches,
You finally see what parts of you needs attention.
You start to nourish your roots and tend to your battered and broken branches,
You start to unclog and clear out any other parts which didn’t quite let go.
You rest and lay low. Withdraw and retreat.
To everyone else you look unrecognisable, but YOU know that who stands before you in the mirror, is the true and most real version of you to date.
Raw and vulnerable, but strong and rooted.
Human and other worldly.
You know what needs to grow and you know how to nurture it.
You surrender to the cycle of nature and your own inner rhythms,
Pulsing away inside.
You know your inherent worth and you own your place in the world.
You stand strong and proud – even though you feel bare and exposed.
Your leaves will grow again, your presence will be reborn.
Your dreams and hopes and aspirations will bloom once more.
You’re going to look + feel different – but that’s what you’re aiming for.
I have been in a constant state of Autumn now for over a year – letting go and letting go some more!
Releasing my grip on all I’ve basically held onto most of my adult life.
At first I grieved that I didn’t really experience my own Spring or Summer,
This year has felt like it just never quite got off the ground.
But the more I reflect on my own journey as I witness the Seasons around me,
The more I see that it’s been a true blessing to go through such a deeply exposing year long Autumn!
My beliefs, thoughts and even my appearance have shifted and I’ve grown – so much.
My direction and my purpose has even shifted. Ive started to truly value my worth!
I know what’s important and I’ve let go of this heavy burden that life was somehow out to get me.
Life feels lighter and I feel free.
Free from my own criticism and judgement,
Free from the criticism and judgement of others.
Surrounding myself with nourishment and love.
I’m now free to have the winter of dreams, in preparation for my eagerly anticipated Spring!
How has your year been so far? Do you identify with life feeling like seasons? Have you flowed with the seasons this year or are you experiencing a similar story to me?
Autumn is a natural time to let go, so what are you ready to let go of? What feels ready to detach, fall away and make space for something new?